"Pastor, I'm Not Being Fed" --- Dr. Doug Talley & Dr. Randy Spence

At the request of the church board, I (Randy) took someone with me and confronted a woman in the church who had spread a rumor about me. As you might expect, this woman denied the rumor and developed an attitude towards me. On one particular Sunday we had a very meaningful time of worship and, judging from what a number of people told me after the service, the sermon was very helpful and moving. This particular woman came up to me, looked me in the eye and said, "Your messages don't feed me."

Both of us have had people tell us, “Your sermons don‟t feed me.” We‟ve had people leave the church and tell us that was THE reason. We've had some tell us a particular sermon was one of the best they'd ever heard only to have someone else tell us it didn‟t feed them at all. We know the pain and soul searching those words create for any pastor. We pour ourselves into the message we believe God wants us to share only to have someone tell us the message had no spiritual or life value to them whatsoever.

“I’m not being fed.” What exactly does that statement mean? It sounds profound when you first hear it, but pondering on it reveals it is maybe the most meaningless phrase ever heard in the church. A pastor hears it as a criticism of him or herself. However, we think it may say more about the spiritual condition of the person saying it.

I (Doug) was having dinner with my 20-month-old granddaughter recently. After nibbling on a bite size piece of pizza, she expressed displeasure and violently pushed the plate away while verbally expressing her dislike. I could have crammed some pizza in her mouth and then used my hands to force her to chew it, but even then I couldn‟t have made her swallow it. Recognizing she was practicing for the terrible twos, I just moved the plate farther away so she wouldn't decorate the table and floor with its contents.

A good shepherd can lead a sheep to the table, but every sheep chooses whether to eat or not. Besides, where in the Bible does it say the shepherd hand fed the sheep? Psalm 23 says the shepherd led them to green pastures but the sheep still had to feed themselves once they arrived.

Willow Creek Community Church did an assessment of their discipleship effectiveness a few years back and discovered that they were not as effective in growing disciples towards maturity as they wanted to be. Their assessment revealed that they were not teaching their people to be self-feeders. Instead, they had created too much dependency on the speaker or teacher to do the feeding. We don‟t think this shortcoming is limited to Willow Creek.This dreaded phrase is based on the incorrect assumption that the pastor's job is to feed those in the church. The truth is his or her job is to equip people for ministry and teach them to feed themselves. Paul knew what he was talking about in Ephesians 4.

Pastors, let‟s be honest and admit we are partially to blame for creating this problem. We were trained to be feeding experts (to feed people from the scriptures) and protecting that role ensures a job for ourselves. How much more effective would we be at making disciples if we gave the scriptures back to the average person and taught people to feed themselves?

Rather than assuming that “I'm not being fed” is a valid criticism of the one preaching, we‟ve been thinking about what it could really mean. Here are some of our suspicions:

 There has been a breakdown in the relationship between the person and the pastor. Or maybe the person simply doesn‟t like the pastor.

 It can express a preaching style preference that has nothing to do with the quality of the actual message. For example, some people like really loud, negative sermons that step on everyone‟s toes. People who prefer that preaching style may not feel fed by an inspirational speaker.

 It can expose a spiritual issue on the part of the congregant. Maybe the person isn't spiritually hungry or doesn't want to grow in ways he or she is being challenged. Alan Hirsch says that people “accustomed to being fed are generally loathe to move from passivity to activity.” It is much easier to be a consumer than a disciple.

 Frankly, it can mean that a pastor is not properly preparing and is preaching inadequate sermons. We both admit that we've preached some sermons over the years that were not particularly nourishing. God help us.

One of us recently heard a speaker say that “not being fed” is a mindset issue on the part of the hearer. There are various sermon styles, such as expository, exegetical, inductive, topical, ones that use a lot of scripture, and ones that use only one scripture. If a person has a pronounced bias for one style and the pastor doesn‟t use that style regularly, the criticism of “I'm not being fed” is likely to be heard. It is a shame people sometimes confuse presentation style with quality of content.

Wayne Cordero wanted to pastor a church of self-feeders. He is an excellent communicator, but he didn't want the people in his church to depend on him to put the Word in their mouths for them. Rather, he wanted them to read scripture for themselves and digest its meaning and application. So his church created Life Journal (www.lifejournal.cc) as a mechanism for fostering personal growth in a Christ follower. Check it out.

Teaching people to feed themselves might revolutionize your ministry and your church. Oh, you'll still hear some say, “I'm not being fed.” Maybe your response could be, “That's not our goal here. We want to equip you to feed yourself rather than depend on us to feed you.” If we want a different outcome (self-feeders), maybe we should change the strategy. Chew on that for a while.

 

Comments

[Angie Swonger]

Great thoughts, Dr. Spence! Sounds like another wise person has read Hirsh and / or "Untamed"! Really makes you stop, ponder, reflect and then change.